Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Romney - A Useless Consultant in a Suit

Last night after seeing a blurb on TV about Mitt's Mexican relatives and knowing his stand on immigration I thought I would take a look at his webpage.

Going to his webpage was the epitome of every employee nightmare - a flashback into the useless jargon of inept consultants - who haven't done an honest day of hard work in their life - but think they know the workplace better than the employees who toil there for 40+ hours a week.

Mitt Romney – one of those useless suited consultants that every one of us has had to deal with over the course of our work history.

One of those useless consultants in suits who refer to employees as

Human Capital - The only reason they use that phrase is so they can depreciate us in their minds before they remove us from the balance sheet - what a crock!

Useless consultants in suits come into the workplace to

Transformationally change
our work environment into

A quality focused organization
A team based organization
An evidence based learning organization
An ISO whatever organizaton
They do this by destroying the humanity and individuality of every person by replacing them with
Hats of many colors
Green belts and black belts
And change your name to

Analytic or
Introvert or Extrovert
Converger or Accommodater
The same useless consultants who take 20 hours to flowchart a 10 minute job and then decide that it needs to be re-processed, re-engineered or re-designed.

The same useless consultants who implement 360 degree performance appraisals in a workplace where people can’t even stand to talk to each other.

The same useless consultants who slashed our workforces and then came up with the phrase "survivor's guilt" to describe those of us left behind and we needed to have training of some kind from their company because of the "guilt" caused by the actions of useless consultants.

The same uselss consultants who can't figure out how to wipe their butts without first reading the newly revised fourth edition, 120 page bathroom process manual.

They have ruined the workplace by changing management’s perception that a college degree is more than important in an employee than someone who knows how to work hard, has a good work ethic and has excellent technical skills.

The useless suits – the consultants – who have over the course of the past 30 years taken a one size fits all approach to every business of every size and almost every time they fail!

Cause after the consultants leave
every employee is still in the same swamp
– up to their ass in alligators
– while they continue to try to shovel the same ten pounds of crap
      into a same five pound bucket for 8 hours every day.
–  just like they had to before the consultant came in.

And in today’s world
– in the United States of America
– where unemployment if the highest it has been in decades

-what does Romney want to do as president (as noted on his “human capital” webpage)

You got it – he wants to outsource jobs IN the United States by bringing in more people from OUTSIDE the United States to do American jobs!

This is a man who has no faith in the American workforce
he is a useless consultant in a suit
and he does not deserve to be our President.

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